My Hand

January 28, 2010
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away from the ledge
away from the edge
away from the hurt that pursues me

life is rough
life is tough
life has gotten out of hand

tears roll down my cheek
tears make me seem weak
tears, I've cried too many

your expression is cruel
your expression is overruled
your expression tells me no one cares

my hand reaches out
my hand finds only doubt
my hand looks for yours to help me up

I need you to promise me
I need you to promise thee
I need you to promise you'll help me through these struggles

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sleeplessdreamer said...
Aug. 14, 2010 at 5:51 pm

I like this one too. I like the repetition of the first words in each stanza, very creative and unique. One thing though: On the last  stanza, the promise me... promise thee rhyme... not working for me. Very forced rhyming. Be creative and find something new for that stanza, because it just didn't fit. 

Other than that: Fabulous!

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