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The Black Hole
The black hole is a place I often go to forget about the pain.
It is so easy to just be consumed there,
to take away the sense of sight and heighten hearing;
it is so easy to give in,
to give up,
when sight is taken away
and darkness has no ending
it is easy to just let go,
to begin to fade away.
I spent what felt like a day in the black hole once,
it made me realize all of the people that didn't come looking for me,
that didn't realize I was gone.
You sit in the darkness and you realize all the people you are happy to hide from
and all the people that are happy you are hiding,
when you realize that darkness isn't so bad.
The black hole often likes to replace the pain
and sad thoughts with nothingness,
It eases and invites sufferers to experience emptiness,
but when the pain is gone nothing is in its place.
The darkness creates illusions because of the lack of sight;
right now as I talk I am not sure if it is aloud or only in my mind.
The black hole consumes whatever that would exist with light
the thoughts that remind you of bad things.
The pain is replaced by darkness in which you can curl up and hide in.
No one can find you here.
No one will find you here.
The black hole makes you realize just how alone you really are.
If you hide long enough maybe they will forget about you,
maybe you will be forgotten.
It is the easy way out really,
just to let go of the light
and drift in the darkness that defies time and space.
It's a funny thing how time can be lost in the darkness,
when the sun does not rise or does not set,
the hours of sitting,
are lost along with ambitions, values, memories, and dreams.
Today I think is Christmas Eve,
but I can not be sure.
I cannot see snow,
or a lit up tree with presents underneath,
Just my thoughts personified as I think them out loud.
Just the few painful memories I have left and the empty space being put inside of me replacing my emotions.
That is the catch with the black hole;
once you agree to give up your pain you also agree to give up your ability to feel sympathy, joy, excitement, and love.
You become a cold, empty, dark person,
the person who gave in to the black hole.
the pathetic lame selfish person,
who let go of your grip
to keep fighting the darkness,
to keep searching for any sign of light to pierce through
but I want to tell you that
the light will hurt at first when it does find a way,
if it finds a way,
because of the natural reaction to stay hidden from reality.
But once your blindness is relieved, the light replaces some of the emptiness,
but only some,
if you grasp on to it fast enough.
Because it will soon be gone
because the hall light will have been turned off
and darkness will flood over your eyes like a spilled can of thick paint
and the black hole will again begin to slowly devour you.