Suspira de Profundis

January 10, 2010
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There is only the blackness of the void here,
There is only the emptiness of the non-space,
There is only the lack of everything there is,
There is only me and no one else.

I knocked on God’s heavenly winged doors,
I buzzed the ring for half an hour and nothing,
I sang the songs and prayed the prayers well,
I had communion and confessed my humanity,
And yet he won’t answer any of my calls.

I was on a cliff, on the verge of a falling deep,
I stared at that bareness long and lastingly,
I stared and pierced with the might of my eyes
Questioning that void to find where was my God.

Days I pondered upon that abyss before me,
Nights I wandered on the edge of chaos,
Until one day I stared again into the blackness
And shouted, and demanded for my God,
And all I saw was myself reflected there.

I saw myself alone and without despair,
I saw myself free, unfettered from all things celestial,
I saw myself and realized within that image:
That I am mine and not of another,
That I am my own judge, not someone else’s criminal,
That there is no God, just me: human, all too human.





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