The Lies of Perfection

December 24, 2009
By xXsmileXx PLATINUM, St. Louis, Missouri
xXsmileXx PLATINUM, St. Louis, Missouri
34 articles 0 photos 266 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Your dreams only become intangible when you stop reaching" ~me ;)


Your seemingly sculpted pace
Is nothing but tragedy beneath
On the outside it's always smooth and composed
But on the inside you want to let go
Your smiles are really floodong tears
And your happiness is a facade
I believed for so long
The struggles you battle everyday
Were oblivious until I thought I'd lose you
Before now you never opened up to me;
trusted me
But somehow something changed
You never revealed a side that wasn't perfection
But now I see you are nothing but pieces
that you glue back together everyday
I see that you were alone
I see that all you needed was to know you're not;
That I'll always be here
I see the difference between your plastic happiness
and the real happy
You are far from just a lovely face
And your painted smile can no longer fool me
I see you now,
Not just the person you wanted me to see


The author's comments:
This piece is about a friend that was going through a really rough time and thought the only way out was death. Him threatening suicide made me realize how difficult my life would be without him. it made me see that there is always a side of someone that they never show.

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This article has 4 comments.


on Aug. 24 2010 at 9:09 pm
beautifuldreamer GOLD, Hanover, Maryland
14 articles 10 photos 59 comments

Anyone can write a poem about a friend who's depressed or suicidal, and I am probably no exception, but what struck me when I read yours was how completely you managed to capture the feelings and images behind it. 

My favorite lines are "But now I see you are nothing but pieces

that you glue back together everyday"

I love this:) (well, I don't love the topic but the way you portrayed it is stunning)


on Jul. 26 2010 at 6:34 pm
chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
11 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe nothing can be justly and completely explained by words."

Well I'll have you know that you make me feel the same way. I deal with the same thing nearly everyday as well. But when I put something up that I hold dear due to deep thought and application, I always count on you to see right through all of it. So thank you as well.

on Jul. 25 2010 at 4:12 pm
xXsmileXx PLATINUM, St. Louis, Missouri
34 articles 0 photos 266 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Your dreams only become intangible when you stop reaching" ~me ;)

Any appraisal or criticism from you means a lot. Your words always captavate me... Everyday I'm surrounded by ignorance and litte intelligence. But you're a breath of fresh air. Big words don't have to be explained nor metaphors, or anythig really. Its rare that I come across someone that I don't have to dumb things down for. So for this I thank you. I just wanted to let you know :) and with the way you talk it seems impossible that you're a teenager...

on Jul. 22 2010 at 8:37 pm
chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
11 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe nothing can be justly and completely explained by words."

I believe that poetry's objective is to pull in the reader, to allow the reader to feel every line, comma, and period. That a poem is meant to devour a person in contemplation and submit them to utmost vulnerability. And especially to have the reader be able to recognize the emotions that the writer put into the work. Congratulations. You have done just that: you made me empathize with you, with your work, in my own life. My situation, however, is about the unattainable girl whom "Alas" was for. I am sidetracking, however. Back to your beautiful piece of artwork.

Strong, lulling, empowering...all, yet soft, and eager, but patient all the same. A portrayal of human interaction and relationships.

There is one small thing aside from my appraisal of this well worthy piece, however. Punctuation would make this stronger. The reader will be able to feel things more precisely with your guidelines of commas, dashes, periods, etc. Punctuation brings in your authority to the piece, in order to direct the reader to exactly what you want. This is my only bit of criticism. You are a real, true poet.

P.S.. Sorry that i got to reading this poem late. I forgot. And i regret that i had, for this has reawakened me from the depths of negligence.



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