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December 23, 2009
the bloody letters on the wall make me feel your pain

it gives me a window into your heart
like the Psychotic scribbling of a kid before the 1st shots are fired in the hall to the

group of kids that just wouldn't stop no matter how much he asked.

you lay there

and stare at me asking why

i can not answer that.

but it makes me ask, why as well

but the sound of the guitar, Cigarettes and Alcohol wash away Clear thoughts.

the question of why that i ask is why are we here?
is this all real?
will the C in English make me die early or if i fail gym what will happen i will be fat and

alone with A terminal sickness?

these are questions we have to see.

if it wasn't for my extreme curiosity of the future i wouldn't walk this earth today. after

the day that my mind shattered i didn't want to go on. Nicotine and Drugs helped. but now,

i sit here and ponder, what is life really about? school? work? family?
i have love. i am smart. but does a piece of paper say other wise?

a slight addiction doesn't make me and Addict.

Pain doesn't make me a Masochist.

Thinking about the worst, death, life, Pain, pride, love, loss doesn't make me Psychotic.

Or by paper does it?

If some one was to find this would they make me "talk to someone that can help"

it didn't f***ing work when i became unstable how will it help a year and a half into

adjusting to this state of mind.

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