usually life has an even pace
i live through the routine
the to do list
the want list
the need list
serve as a distraction
and i forget

there are some days when
i keep going and going and
i trip and fall into heartache
shivers run through all the places
he used to be
it hits me so hard i forget to breathe
and the room starts to spin
i can feel my heart struggling to beat
its hard to think
cause worries and solutions
are bein created at the same time
no calming down
an ocean of tears starts to unleash
my wrist starts to itch sweetly
like the burn of vodka to alcoholic's throat
my veins ignite
its when i want to scream silently
i struggle to find control
but all the emotions, thoughts, weaknesses i fear
run through me when i remember im alone
the little voice of reason im supposed to hear
is stifled by the never ending stream of
responsibilities, disappointments, insecurities
(the to do list, the want list, the need list)
i drown in confusion
...what next?
...be strong?
...im sorry?

and then i remember to just breathe
listen only to the air release from my lungs
let my heart find its beat
life finds its pace
fire in my veins is erased
and i remember my life has to go on
and so i hope not to trip or fall
or crash
just breathe