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Flames

burning through your skin.
starts out small but grows,
just like a lie.
getting hotter and hotter,
and now you cant breath.
suffocating you till death,
and then you
burn up into ashes.
like you just disappeared
out of thin air
but with more pain.
fire embracing you,
turning black and dissolving.
everything around you disappears.
ashes blowing way
in the wind
all thats left is nothing.
fire is like hate
getting stronger and stronger
and then BOOM!
explodes.





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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

jessi said...
Jan. 16, 2010 at 8:59 am
i likes it! :) you have some really good word imagery in there, like the part about the ashes blowing in the wind. overall i would say its fantastic :)
 
Pensive?Gurl replied...
Feb. 19, 2010 at 5:22 pm
i have to agree with jessi on this!
 
christianjedi said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 8:57 pm
very descriptive. The first part is very well done; you seel and feel the flame. Unfortunately, when you say that fire is "like hate," it sort of diminishes the effect of the poem. It seems to be moving the poem from the fire itself to your thoughts about the fire. It almost interrupts it. The first part is excellent though; very captivating.
 
purple_ashes replied...
Dec. 29, 2010 at 2:32 pm
I understand what you are saying. In fact, the first version of this ended at "nothing". I'm not sure why I put the second part on there and now that I am re-reading it, I feel that you are right! Ha, who knows what I was thinking that day!
 
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