Faithless

The frozen sunlight glanced off our jacketed backs
and i could imagine it spreading out into space
in spokes
like light divided by a pitiless prism
into rigid sections.
There was a question
that had remained unspoken forever;
A baleful probing
that we had both been putting off
and out of mind
Until the cold of this morning
blunted our minds
like trying to pick up a penny without thumbs.
I hoped that you could hold it in
but somehow i knew that resolve always fails.
Always.
You rose you face
with the stricken expression
that (i imagine) mirrored mine.
"You don't... believe in any of it?"
How could i find the sounds to tell you
when i don't know the answer myself?
As our breath fogged the world in front of me
my words tried to escape
from their prison of boundaries and lines
but i found that they were stillborn.
Premature.
I managed to mumble something
about being to young to understand
and not knowing (yet)
what i believe.
But i could see in your shoulders;
their stoop;
and the drooping of the light off your back
that you knew.