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Worse Than Death

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As I stood, dressed in dark blackness, and white cleansliness;
On the verge, in the foggy lust of the city lights.
I looked upon it in such grief, such dissapointment;
More than dishonor, less than cleansliness.
Worse than it seemed; I sat, whispered, and turned around;
Right than right there, I stood and exchanged my beaming eyes,
With his. He stood tall, in the darkness; his robe of black.
His blade glimmered, shined, silver.
As I looked my eyes turned plush;
My mind went blank; I began to sobber;
My body releasing whatever tears it could withdraw.
I fell dreary to my knees, as the world I had known for years upon years;
Was swept from beneath.
The week there after, I was put six feet down;
Also brought seldomly up. As I looked down I saw
Complete emptiness.





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Paig3Cagl3 said...
Nov. 18, 2009 at 2:57 pm
This poem has great flow and insight.
I really enjoyed it.
Lovely poem darling =]
-Please check out the works that I have posted on here it would be highly appreciated and I think you would greatly enjoy them, Thankk youz-
XxThe Whole Time You Were Talking I Didnt Hear A Single Word You Said B/C Th3 Whole Time You Were Talking I Was Picturing You DeadXx
 
Hallow said...
Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:51 am
I think the description was really great, but the grammatical errors were distracting. I don't normally mind the occasional missing apostrophe or comma or whatever. But the message is strong and portrayed well. Work on grammar, everything else is spot on I say.
 
sumthingprecious said...
Nov. 11, 2009 at 4:42 pm
i didn't understand what was going on at first, but i like the little twist you had to it. I don't know it was weird and i liked it. Good job. Check out some of my work you might like it too.
 
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