October 12, 2009
Sparked by a glance many months ago
A flame ignited
The blaze was aglow
Unable to dim
Seemingly flawless…
Until the light revealed
The beliefs concealed
What hid behind your eyes.
Darkness never consumed
Though, denial was caressed by the flames
Soon, truth melted into reality
It had not changed my mentality
A flaw was known
But the flame had grown
And would not disappear.
The thought soon faded away
Life resumed as it had been
A desire remained,
Feelings were sustained.
Curiosity provoked,
Answers were coveted,
Found after toil.
Nothing was sated
I just waited
Emotions were influenced
Control was smothered
Coincidence led to a deeper affection,
I sought a closer connection.
The flames began to consume
Second, minute, hour
One thought, one feeling
The flame burned
I couldn’t resist
Sending the sparks of my flame
What sparks sent back only strengthened its glow.
Soon the flame began to flicker warningly
Small breezes were felt first, then one strong gust
I tried to protect the flame, but the wind evaded capture
I could do no more, I watched what unfolded
By mistake, what had been molded.
Impulse had led to a schism
The fault was my own, I just had to.
What happened between you and I
Remains a secret held close to my heart
Never to depart.
I was blindsided
Crying always seemed to be a weakness
I succumbed
Was left numbed.
Being around you lacked what was once there
Nothing helped, not even a prayer.
A sense of shame was present
The tears melted into the flames
But, never phased, never losing their brilliance.
I contemplated my emotions
Saw the errors of past notions
Mostly thoughts in my mind, nothing more
I masqueraded an imagined life
With created strife
An end should have been in the beginning
Attempts were made many times, to no avail
Part of the sorrow of my tale.
I wonder if things could have been different, sometimes.
I willed not to, but in the end, temptation was too strong
Reflecting back, I realize I was wrong.
Mistakes were made
Chances taken
Feelings expressed
I initiated
I let this start
I couldn’t bring myself to part
Words should not have been spoken
Investments not made
Glances not shared
Thoughts not revealed
Footsteps not followed
Now all I have left are the remnants of my decisions
There is nothing left to say,
Hope fades away.
Nothing can be undone
Or redone
Or changed
No more chances of a relationship
Even now, a faint light manages to shine
Lives intertwine
The past diffuses into the present
I am left alone to lament
What I have done, now I see
What never was, will never be.

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