October 4, 2009
What's the point? I don't see one anymore…

Looming over me, breathing down my neck
I feel your presence with me, haunting like a shadow.

Every step I take I am followed.
Every move I make, I am watched.
My past will never be forgotten.
I can't escape this hell.

That sliver blade meets my pulsing veins.
I grit my teeth as that too familiar liquid trickles down my arm, taking my troubles with it.
My silent scream is left unanswered, Lost and forgotten in the wind.

Pain. The old now, consumed by the new.
Pain. It's all I'll ever feel.
Pain. I can't escape this hell.

I hear nothing, I see nothing, I feel nothing.
I am numb.
My body and mind are gone, somewhere not in this world.
I drop to my knees lightheaded and weak.

Reality snaps back, all too quickly.
Once again you’re here beside me whispering in my ear.
"You can't escape this hell."

Another scar for my collection.
They'll never go away.

So, do you believe me now?
Or do you refuse to see?
What you really did to me.

Come! Look and see,
Just how lost I am in my vulnerability
Lost in this world of fear!
Lost in this cosmos of hate!
Lost in my past.
This inescapable Hell you put me in will be the last of me, I swear.

But until that day, I will hide my pain.
Never to be shared.
I will not live forever, for that I am sure
But this pain you caused me will last more than a lifetime.
It will be remembered and my story will remain.

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