I Want Something I Feel As If I Can Never Have

September 21, 2009
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I don't want to leave you, but being with you is tearing me apart. I know I am the closest friend you've got, but to be honest being this close hurts so much. I just want to be one of those guys you go out with because each time one of them breaks your heart mine begins to ache. Each time I see the pain they cause or if you're just with one of the guys you chose to date, I want to scream out loud and say ``I Love You!!``. I know though if I said that I'd completely lose you. I know your secrets like they're my own. When you tell me about a crush or how much you love your boyfriend I get an ache in my heart, that just becomes more and more painful. I feel as if that the longer I stay with you the ache will become too painful to bear. The longer I am with you suicide becomes a way out even though it'd hurt you. If I don't leave you I know I will chose the easier way out because I know you've never loved me and believe you never will.

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