I Hate Myself

I hate myself for the tears that I shed.

I hate myself for being unable to completely hide the pain that I feel within me.

I hate myself for letting me suffer in silence.

I hate myself for I always think of you…

Your touch…

Your lips…

Your kiss…

Your arms…

Your embrace…

Your voice…

And your eyes.

Most of all, I hate myself for loving you so much.


I don’t know how…


I don’t know why…

And I don’t know when…

All I know is that I am totally and completely in love with you.


You may not love me…


You may not even like me…


You may even hate me, but to me,

All that matters is that I love you.


You were the only one that was able to inspire me.

You were the only one that made me see life in a new point of view.


You were the one that gave me a feeling of safety and security as you held me.

Once again, I was able to feel the sense of warmth and home that my house has lacked for so long,


And for the first time in what seems like forever,

I was able to truly be free from the rules and chains that use to keep me bound.


I hate myself for I now suffer for you, but… I will never regret a thing.


I lost my best friend whom was also my sister and my writing partner…


I lost what little trust I still had with my family…


I was hit and beat till I was sore, bruised, and aching, but…



I still love you.


I shall never hate you for I shall forever love you.

The only thing that bothers me is that I hate myself for the person I have become.


I lost my way, but you found me.


I shall always hate myself for many thing,

But remember this…


I shall love you forever and I will wait for you as long as I need to…

After all, I hate myself, but I will never hate you for you gave me light in a life filled with darkness.

For that…

I thank you

&

I love you.





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