To my brown oversized T-shirt

It has been six years since I bought you from Hollister.

I’m sorry

for buying you when we certainly aren’t meant for each other.

you were way too big for me

I bought you one anyway.

I loved how my tiny limbs drowned in the words “Tennis Club” written in cursive.

I hate the feeling of drowning

except when I was drowning in you.

I feel my shoulders sink down, my arms untense, and my eyelids relax when I’m with you.

I feel relaxed

I’m never relaxed.

Remember when I broke up with my ex-girlfriend on my birthday and cried?

You cried with me.

Both of us were soaked with tears. Both of our hearts were broken.

You have holes all over you now.

Some are the size of a ballpoint pen. Some are the size of a tennis ball.

The graphic of the two tennis racquets is peeling off.

You are getting old.

You look tired

You look broken.

You look as if you want to let go

You look as if you are ready to let go.

but

I am not letting you go.

So forgive me for being selfish and saving you a spot in the second drawer of my closet.