This would have been the perfect night for a party.

Warm, misty air

Moon almost gone

No light in the darkness

Dew on the lawn

The tint from your windows

The firework sound

Of the music, so searing

The shake in the ground

It builds like the rumble

Of stones down a hill

No time to be troubled

No room for free will

I steal a glance out your window.

She asks me, “Hey, what are you doing out here?”

Disguised in a shadow, I wipe off a tear

I turn to her - “Oh, I just needed to breathe”

She says, “That’s the same reason I had to leave”

But it’s quiet tonight, and I’m wearing two masks.

And there’s so much air. 

She murmurs “I can’t believe we’ve barely met.

You feel like a good friend that I don’t know yet.

There’s so much we share that we never discuss.

I never quite know what there is between us.”

And my brain’s shouting ‘Envy! And Vengeance! And Hate!’

Those jagged heartstones with their chest-crushing weight

But there’s something beneath them, some seedling that’s grown

And I realize ‘At least I’m not out here alone.’

You’re here with me tonight.

And just as we talk, there’s a faint, sliding squeak.

You turn to me, smiling.

A door opens up and a voice starts to speak.

The way you see me, soft and golden -

You say, “Why are you both out here, all alone?”

“I love you.”

And I see the betrayal the seedling has grown.

“I love you too,” I say, pulling my eyes from the window.

Warm, misty air

Moon almost gone

Gold hanging lanterns

Stars on the lawn

The clock will turn midnight

I will be here

No parties, no seedlings

A happy new year