I cant breathe
I'm in a new realm
Of reality
Where you see yourself
And now,
I see myself
Falling,
Failing,
Screwing up

I see myself
Rapidly grasping for nothing
I grab violent fistfuls
Of air

I see my eyes;
That were once filled with
So much joy and
Happiness,
Flowing like a river
During monsoon
Season

I see my body
Convulse,
In a violent version
Of slow motion

I see myself
Shatter,
Rebuild,
Then shatter again

I see myself
Trying in vain
To perfect my
Every move,
Thought,
Word,
Everything

I cant watch me
Destroy myself again

I cant watch every
Good thing
Fall apart
In this
Demented,
Grotesque
Cycle

So I grab myself
By the hair
And slowly
Drown myself

Everything blurs,
Then just as fast as
I fade away
I snap back into this
Screwed up
Cycle of
My own
Self-destruction