I could never put my finger on it

The feeling is hard to describe because I don’t know what it is

You pull me in and I get butterflies,

But when you kiss me I can’t feel anything.

Is it me? Is it you? I don’t know.

I’ve imagined moments like the ones in movies,

But when they happen to me I freeze up and make it awkward.

Why do I love what is happening but let the moment slip?

You know my coffee order and I know yours,

And it makes me want to marry you.

When you smile after accomplishing something small

And when you concerningly ask me about my papercuts

I never want to share you with anyone else.

On other days when you cling to me like a leech I want to run away

and scream in solitary confinement.

I try to make a pros and cons list, but they always outweigh another

And I can never figure out how I feel.

Is this what love feels like?

Is it supposed to be this confusing?

I hate to love you.