we are not the same

we won't be alike

you won't ever be like me

ever

not while you’re still you

when every heartbeat aches

when every touch is painful

when every step is like walking on hot coals

when that’s what your life is like

then you will be like me.

when it’s a grace to have good nightmares

when you scream for help and no one hears you

when you spend holidays crying

when the mention of a simple memory brings tears to your eyes

then you will be like me.

when you put on a happy smile

even though you're fighting back the agony

when you’ve already drowned in the seas of your own tears

then you will be like me.

when everyone has someone

and you have no one

because your only partner is long gone and is never coming back

when people laugh at your pain

then you will be like me.

when you’ve placed your life on the table and given your heart to the one person they swore they’d protect

and he walks away, never looking back

then you will be like me.

when he hears but doesn’t listen

when you can't bring yourself to speak unless spoken to

and he won’t speak to you

and you feel the devastation

then you will be like me.

when living is agony

and you’re supposed to be dead

when the ones you lived and died for have left you in their dust

when your reasons for living fade away

then you will be like me.

when each blink of your eye yields a thousand horrors

and your scars spell names

when you die in your sleep every night

only to wake up the next day

then you will be like me.

when you’re all alone

a one-man army against the world,

and the light in your eyes is gone

when the rain is the only weather you like

because it is the only one you can feel

when you love the dark solely because it’s already consumed you

then you will be like me.