There are days where I can not get out of bed,

Just like there are days where I can not bare to get into bed.

I am forgetful,

Trudging through negativity as if I were baptized in the devil's tears.

Even when I was raised by the positivity of all those around. 

At times I become emotionally detached in which I must apologize for,

Because it is not fair.

It is not fair to those closest to me,

Nor is it fair to those who do not know me at all. 

I am simply bad at being human.

My fear of living grows rapidly,

As I push anything and anyone away who is at harm of my decaying hands.

I am no good here,

Or there,

Or anywhere.

I apologize for taking up too much space and stealing away selfishly at your time.

Just as I am sorry for never quite being there and living the way I am supposed to.

I am demanding and take greedily from thosewho do not deserve the pain I bring.

Thoughts race into my mind,

Leading me into a frenzy of unfinished ideas and massarces my focus to be better.

I am sorry for not telling you sooner about my twisted head and shallow heart.

You all deserve more than what my fraying fingertips have to offer.