What you lost was Gold

March 16, 2017

A hole that's too big to fill,

too empty not to feel.

They say I'll get over you,

I say it'll never heal.


Just when I think none of it was real,

the hole you left- a trick, a scar

freshly opened; Cut deep, memories of your leaving

stuck in my head.


Embedded, a part of me I still carry.

In me it sits deeply.

The memory.


Shoes no one can fill,

you complete me.

Said you'd never leave a scar that cut so deeply.

It'll never heal,

It'll never feel okay again.


My heart is shattered,

a million pieces of me scattered,

no one can fix it; the pieces you left me with,

and the memories I can't forget.


I don't want to let go yet- I can't.

You left me with a bruise.

Bitter tasting, and bitter feelings, too.

Unnoticeable, until you take a look inside my heart,

too fragile to be dropped, but too special to be forgot.


Too valuable to lose,

so why did you have to choose what you chose?

When my heart opens, it's as beautiful as a rose.

It's richer than gold, but when it's gone out it goes.

Petals perfect, imperfections forever imperfect-I'm worth it.


Now my heart's just closed, for reasons no one knows.

What you lost, what you lost was gold.

For reasons I have yet to know.


Because I can't give you what you want.

Lies, and uncertainy- stitched and embedded like thorns

my heart fixed with your words- held in your hands; It now hangs by a thread of dread, and "Oh what did I do's?"


So why?

Why did you have to say dark words, 

dark thoughts, ones that haunt?


I'll never lose you,

why did you choose what you chose?

Why'd you have to leave a bruise?

Why did you lie, when all I wanted was you?


To let me go?

To lose gold?

Leave me with the memory leaving brings.

But why, why did I have to let you in for you to leave me broken?

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