The Loveless Cycle

September 16, 2013
By rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death


There once was a sad child named Mike Greene,
He lived in a broken home,
His dad was a deadbeat, abusive and obscene,
And his mom made him feel all alone.

One day little Mike came home from school,
To show his Dad what he made,
But his dad didn’t care, he was drunk as a fool,
And for bothering him, Mike paid.

Little Mike became sadder and sadder,
For his Mom didn’t care and his Dad abused him,
His actions in school got badder and badder,
And everything just confused him.

Growing up without love, Mike was filled with fear,
And as he grew up, his classmates felt it,
Mike was mean to the kids but no one would hear,
That Mike could not have helped it.

When surrounded with hate, you are hateful yourself,
Anybody could see this with Mike,
But he became an outcast and never got help,
And drugs began tearing his life.

Then Mike dropped out of tenth grade,
For he hated school worse than his Father,
But it would have been no better if he stayed,
Would someone help him? No one would bother.

Mike worked a nine-to-five in fast food,
And he met a girl with the same situation,
He always was rude, but she was used to it, too,
And she “loved” him without contemplation.

She soon became pregnant and had their first child,
He was born in an old mobile home,
And surely that child would be just as wild,
And like Mike, would feel all alone.

Mike found out his girlfriend had an affair,
And he went into a mad fit of rage,
She tried to explain, but Mike didn’t care,
And his girlfriend quickly was slayed.

Mike thought no one would find out,
But the police quickly arrived,
Mike was sent off to prison no doubt,
But the little child survived.

But what will become of this child?
Could he possibly rise above?
The answer is no, the chances are mild,
For he too will grow up without love.


The author's comments:
This poem is for anyone affected by domestic violence. More broadly, this is for anyone whose parents make them feel alone.

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This article has 50 comments.


on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:48 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

That's not what I was going for, with the "tragic hero", but if that's the way you perceived it then I need to make the meaning clearer XD Thanks so much for the feedback!

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:43 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks for the feedback!

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:42 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks so much for the feedback!

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:41 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Lol yeah XD That was the idea, contrasting a basic, cheery rhyme scheme with a dark message. Thanks for commenting!

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:29 pm
LitttleMissSunshine SILVER, Braceville, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
I hate living but there is so much more I want to do before I die.

this is amazing..the rhyme made me think of like Dr. Seuss for teens lol but this did make me cry

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:25 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

Ok, so you already know everything i said, cuz i told you before.....so im just gonna make yoour day by commenting! Overal a great piece. Just make the suggestions i suggested and then you will be all set. keep rockin       ~Liv

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:20 pm
TurabianKnight BRONZE, Bronx, New York
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." -- Ben Franklin

I wish this poem was free verse. I think that there's a real kernel or literature in there but it feels really constrained by the rhyme/form.

Kindle GOLD said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:14 pm
Kindle GOLD, Sudbury, Other
11 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it." -Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense." - Robert Frost

It's cool that it follows the tragic hero flow, although because of that feeling I can't help but compare it to Shakespeare and Sophocles but obviously it's not as good as those legends :P

Nintendude said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:12 pm
Not bad. I absolutely hate you for being a jerk all the time but u make a good poem. Well done!

BlottedInk said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:07 pm
BlottedInk, Searsmont, Maine
0 articles 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed." -Nicholas Chamfort

my god this really has a message!!! wow its great and i really like how you just came out and said it, instead of dancing around the issue. Good job :)  




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