here i am again, making the same mistake. but i cant stop it, i cant seem to make it shake. they've got me again, i am their captive again. when i see you inside i smile, if only for awhile. when I'm alone i frown, just like the world is falling down. i paste this smile to my face, when you ask if i am ok. as life goes on, things seem to change. but here i am still trudging through the rain, and holding on through the pain. i learn very quickly how to hide the ache, i just sI'mply put on a fake. i see all around me these familiar faces. but do they see me? am i just invisible to their eyes? maybe I'm just a shadow to them, someone they may see for a moment in tI'me. but then they close their eyes, and turn on a dI'me. it seems I'm going nowhere, i have no more expression on my face. its all hidden beneath this place. i want to drown my sorrow, i want no tomorrow. my only dreams are of dying. is this the best i shall ever have? like all the rest, i wait for the day i feel loved. but everywhere i go they look right through me, see through me. i use to think, if i just do my best then they have to show they care. now i know, that kind of love is so rare. i try to break these chains that hold me down. but they keep dragging me further into the ground.
February 2, 2012