Monster

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My stomach tightens,
I squeeze my eyes shut tightly,
clenched fists at my side,
A monster rises within me.

Heat runs to my face.
Ice runs down my spine,
People step away,
As they convince themselves I am fine.

I cannot even look at you.
My blood it boils hot,
fighting my reaction,
I cannot risk getting caught.

Damn all the authorities,
I am dying just to explode.
But no, I will let it rip me to pieces.
soon I'll just implode.

I unclench my fists,
I hear a pounding in my ear,
My pulse races, shaking, rocking,
My closed eyes... give way to one, single tear...

My stomach tightens why I am near you,
I close my eyes as not to see,
I close my fists, they are too tempted to hold you,
I am this monster, when by your side I cannot be.





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