I can’t believe I’m doing this to myself…
You always hugged me back- nothing more;
I worried for my mental health
As you walked out the drama room door.

I can’t believe you felt nothing
When my arms wrapped around yours from behind.
I still try to keep you close to me,
I still have the yearbook that you signed.

I wish I could have seen inside your head,
And known what you were thinking.
Hidden out behind my father’s shed,
You told me you’d been drinking.

Swallowing your sanity away
With mixes of alcoholic sludge,
I wonder if you remembered the way things used to be-
It seems not, your habit wouldn’t budge.

I hope you could have seen the light someday,
Or seen how much I worry.
I hope your attitude was not my fault-
And if it was, I’m oh so sorry.

I know I badgered you a bit too much-
I think I should have lain off-
But I couldn’t resist your quiet touch,
Fingers fluttering like a moth.

It has been several weeks now
Since you came out to me.
I hope you understand now
The “you” I really see.

Standing by your gravestone,
I remember that fateful night.
Driving drunk, now you’re gone-
I hope you’ve seen the light.