The Trespasser

It raids every city within sight
And live the people in misery and gloom.
I watch as it tears and burns with harsh
But I just can’t help but fear its wrath.

I see it comes in disarray
But it lives no time to flee nor cry.
I hear the people screams and yowls
But it does no good whether big nor small.

It basks at its fury
Not caring where it slashes.
It creeps with the dark abode
for it has no face to show.

I hear the plants cry
In sorrow they die.
I hear the children’s wail
But it’s much too soon to help.

You hear the souls of the dead
And you run for comfort from mom
Beware the wrath of the trespasser
For it comes with its hunger.





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swiftheartThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 18, 2012 at 5:11 am
Thank you and I will make sure to listen to your advice :D
 
BonitaG said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I really like the idea behind this-very abstract and clean. I would say don't ever be afraid to become too artsy-you say, "you hear" and "i see" don't be afraid to elaborate on those ideas. What does it smell like, feel like, or taste like? what do the souls of the dead do to your body physically? My English teachers are always telling me to come up with an emotion, and than describe what it does to you physically, emotionally, sensually and spiritually. I would definitely reccomend just playing... (more »)
 
AnshuR said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 5:49 am

its really nice one...
i related to it...!!!
i guess u can do better..

 

 
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