Climb

September 5, 2010
By Gleek4ever GOLD, Hometown, Illinois
Gleek4ever GOLD, Hometown, Illinois
14 articles 2 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If its one thing I learned in life its, Life's a climb but the view is great!" -Miley Cyrus


I can almost see my life anew
But the voice inside my head
Says, 'You'll never drive or play the sport you're blind. That's what it said.

With every step I take in lfe,
My vision getting worse,
I feel so lost, my faith is gone
It feels just like a curse.

With climbing mountains in one's life, and once you reach the top
You feel like you did the best you can. So now I know its enough.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Aug. 18 2011 at 11:52 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

On the last line of the first stanza, shouldn't it be:
"Says, 'You'll never drive or play the sport. You're blind'" And I think the that's what it said part can be removed since you already said says. Plus, this line is a little longer and kinda messes up the rhythm.

The lines in the third stanza is kinda longer and they don't seem to flow right.

Anyway this is all just me. :)))

It sounds likes Miley Cyrus' The Climb. And since the message of the poem is never give up, keep writing :)))

on Aug. 18 2011 at 1:37 pm
Gleek4ever GOLD, Hometown, Illinois
14 articles 2 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If its one thing I learned in life its, Life's a climb but the view is great!" -Miley Cyrus

i try puttin it in stanzas but for some reason my computer hates me. lol

on Aug. 18 2011 at 1:36 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

You should really keep your stanzas a consistent length.  It's more visually appealing and it helps the rhythm.  As for the message in your writing, it was excellent! :)




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