The First

May 10, 2010
Every moment wasted gazing into your eyes
is a moment my soul could never despise
For you I never fell
merely an ungraceful trip,
and now you put me through hell;
How could I let myself slip?
Now so stuck in this well,
no Lassie to save me.
No way to tell;
my future is hazy.
So hard to make out;
the vision is smeared.
So full of self-doubt,
yet my conscience is clear.
And so from you i'll not part;
for when you're so near,
I hear naught but my heart;
And though the beat is unsteady
as you reach for my hand.
I still fear I'm, not ready,
this was so unplanned.
My friends gave the warning:
Don't get in too deep.
Yet I wake in the morning
having not gone to sleep.
How curious, it seems,
the world is so bland;
though not in my dreams
where every grain of sand
displays the vivid hues
of those distant memories
giving hints to my clues,
though you could never see.
The days have gone by,
as did our time together.
When I asked "would you lie?"
Your answer was "never"
How long will you stay?"
A whisper, "Forever..."
A bluff, a fib, an untruth;
though you never meant it to be this way.
I feel as if it was all just a spoof.
As if I stole a chapter
from someone else's life.
Now looking back after,
I knew you were the type...the one.
You were my dearest
and I was your darling.
However, being put to the test
was certainly not our thing.
The process was long
and so full of stuff.
Our feelings were strong,
but was it enough?
We were so pressed
for all kinds of info
that one day you confessed
it was time for you to go.
How could you deceive me?
You said Forever!
And now you are leaving.
You shouldn't have said never.
The longer I think on it,
the more it seems,
you were less than honest
and these were just dreams.
So from darling to dearest:
my soul learned to despise
all of our time, but the best
moments wasted simply gazing into your eyes.

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