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Gravity

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I fall. I climb. I climb and I fall.
But I climb to fall.
I build so I can watch what I make crumble to pieces.
I watch the sand sift through my open fingers.
I let the wave claim my castle as its own.
I let it all come down on me, earth and ocean.
I have just enough power to watch myself fail,
Just enough hope to let my dreams die in my arms,
Over and over.
I am gravity and I pull everything down.




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ashleyn said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 2:59 pm:
I LOVE IT! I especially liked how you made the whole thing into a similie at the end...wonderfully done. Great job!
 
JMThe-one replied...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm :
Metaphor. Not a simile. JS. Not trying to be pretentious. 
 
ashleyn replied...
Mar. 11, 2011 at 11:36 am :
Ha ha yeah you're right...sorry I guess I should have paid more attention to it... (:
 
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CountryGothic said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 2:30 pm:
Wonderfully written with a lovely flow and truth to it...I sure hope the self-sabotage is not happening to you for you are too good for that...this is a beautifully constructed poem. :)
 
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writerenchanted said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 10:44 am:
This is such a pretty and amazing work of art!;) Keep up the good work.
 
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Coleyy said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 10:02 pm:
amazingg! i really like your word choice, it flows really well and says a lot :)
 
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$parky14 said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 5:59 pm:
That was beautiful and inspiring, you make it sound like Gravity is a person, a selfless, ever-moving person.=]
 
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Bookworm7 said...
Jan. 31, 2011 at 9:02 pm:
Your poem was absolutely intriguing and flowed nicely. I think that from the beginning to the end of the poem I was interested. It's great you really should write more.
 
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Medina D. said...
Jan. 26, 2011 at 4:44 pm:
this was short and meaningful and jaw-dropping and eye-glueing and beautiful and precious and better then any poem i could ever write and *deep breathe* DONT STOP WRITING!!!
 
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shreya756 said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 11:22 pm:
When I finished reading this, the only word that left my lips was 'WOW.' 
 
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weaselkiesel said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 12:16 pm:
I really like the beginning, how you used the same phrases over and over. Good job!
 
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SaMiLoVe97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 7:06 pm:
i LOVE this(: Great work. Keep writing:D <3 Sami
 
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Gigantron said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm:

What comes up must come down. Or, if phrased differently, being forced down by gravity is a necessary function of vertical propulsion.

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. Nice work. :)

 
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Johnwall said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 12:44 pm:
I COULD DO THE JOHN WALL TO THIS POEM !!!!
 
johnwall1 replied...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 7:31 am :
no, no... its okay
 
johnwall1 replied...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 7:32 am :
MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN
 
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gwetaetqwetq said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 12:37 pm:
tadtSfgadgaefvetgadfg
 
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rqwtrqerq said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 12:36 pm:
qertertqerqrt   ggooodooddd. keeps writying wonderful poetry :Dt
 
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breeeegreen said...
Dec. 12, 2010 at 2:34 pm:
this so beautiful, i cant even explain how amazing it is. but lets jsut say, you should keep writing poems.
 
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justsmileanddance said...
Dec. 12, 2010 at 12:55 pm:
this is amazing!!! and so clever!! i would have never thought of that!! bravo!
 
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AnonyMiss said...
Nov. 20, 2010 at 6:25 pm:
oh that is beautiful. i feel like i could have written these words it speaks to me so much.
 
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