April 5, 2009
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I fall. I climb. I climb and I fall.
But I climb to fall.
I build so I can watch what I make crumble to pieces.
I watch the sand sift through my open fingers.
I let the wave claim my castle as its own.
I let it all come down on me, earth and ocean.
I have just enough power to watch myself fail,
Just enough hope to let my dreams die in my arms,
Over and over.
I am gravity and I pull everything down.

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ashleyn said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I LOVE IT! I especially liked how you made the whole thing into a similie at the end...wonderfully done. Great job!
JMThe-one replied...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Metaphor. Not a simile. JS. Not trying to be pretentious. 
ashleyn replied...
Mar. 11, 2011 at 11:36 am
Ha ha yeah you're right...sorry I guess I should have paid more attention to it... (:
CountryGothic said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Wonderfully written with a lovely flow and truth to it...I sure hope the self-sabotage is not happening to you for you are too good for that...this is a beautifully constructed poem. :)
writerenchanted said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 10:44 am
This is such a pretty and amazing work of art!;) Keep up the good work.
Coleyy said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 10:02 pm
amazingg! i really like your word choice, it flows really well and says a lot :)
$parky14 said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 5:59 pm
That was beautiful and inspiring, you make it sound like Gravity is a person, a selfless, ever-moving person.=]
Bookworm7 said...
Jan. 31, 2011 at 9:02 pm
Your poem was absolutely intriguing and flowed nicely. I think that from the beginning to the end of the poem I was interested. It's great you really should write more.
Medina D. said...
Jan. 26, 2011 at 4:44 pm
this was short and meaningful and jaw-dropping and eye-glueing and beautiful and precious and better then any poem i could ever write and *deep breathe* DONT STOP WRITING!!!
shreya756 said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 11:22 pm
When I finished reading this, the only word that left my lips was 'WOW.' 
weaselkiesel said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I really like the beginning, how you used the same phrases over and over. Good job!
SaMiLoVe97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 7:06 pm
i LOVE this(: Great work. Keep writing:D <3 Sami
Gigantron said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm

What comes up must come down. Or, if phrased differently, being forced down by gravity is a necessary function of vertical propulsion.

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. Nice work. :)

Johnwall said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 12:44 pm
johnwall1 replied...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 7:31 am
no, no... its okay
johnwall1 replied...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 7:32 am
gwetaetqwetq said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 12:37 pm
rqwtrqerq said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 12:36 pm
qertertqerqrt   ggooodooddd. keeps writying wonderful poetry :Dt
breeeegreen said...
Dec. 12, 2010 at 2:34 pm
this so beautiful, i cant even explain how amazing it is. but lets jsut say, you should keep writing poems.
justsmileanddance said...
Dec. 12, 2010 at 12:55 pm
this is amazing!!! and so clever!! i would have never thought of that!! bravo!
AnonyMiss said...
Nov. 20, 2010 at 6:25 pm
oh that is beautiful. i feel like i could have written these words it speaks to me so much.
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