My name is meaningless in both sense and definition. There is no intended significance. There is no point. It is boring and basic. Like going to school. Or the colour blue. The kind of dark blue that you see on the cover of every notebook.  In Hebrew my name means “captivating”. But I have looked and I cannot find anything captivating about the name I was given. 

For a name so commonplace it is often misspelled by others. People spell it “Rebeca” and “Rebbecca” as if they had never heard of the name. To me the misspellings add an interest to my name. It fools me to think that maybe my name could be more exciting than it appears.

I am envious of my sisters’ names. My older sister is Isabella. It is more graceful then then Rebecca. It looks beautiful when written and sounds beautiful when spoken. My younger sisters’ name, Louisa, is much like my name. Boring. But she is able to go by the name Lulu with many not knowing her real name. 

I was not named after anybody. So in a way I am lucky because I don’t have any expectations for who and what I should be like. I can make the name Rebecca what I want. 

But I still I feel that the name doesn’t fit me. I never have. When people call my name it feels wrong. Like they are calling for someone else.

I want to change my name in the future. Something that is interesting and exotic. I want it to be the colour gold instead of the shade of blue that it is now.  I wonder that if I were to change my name I still would not be content with it. Maybe the idea of having only one name my whole life is what makes it boring. I hope not.