Someday I will stop...

October 12, 2017
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Someday I will stop comparing myself to others.
I will stop stressing over how others think of me and can finally just be me
no filter
no curtain
no reservation

I'll rip off the protective layer I wrap myself in and walk freely without anything I can hide behind.
I will stop doubting myself.
I will stop  trying to change myself for others.
I will stop being a chameleon and blending in with my surroundings
A constant swirl of changing colors to appeal to the background

Someday I will want to stand out and be a contrast to the mute monotonous tones of society.
A bright color that is impossible to dilute.

Someday my stomach will stop hurling at the thought of embarrassing myself…

again.

Someday my eyes won’t squeeze shut at a situation where I thought I made myself look stupid
Just when I was finally able to muster a little confidence.
Someday my brain will stop beating myself up for never taking those chances that I should’ve
because I knew the answer and if I just trusted myself then I could have proved my intelligence
my worthiness
my problem solving abilities
but I stayed quiet like I always do and someone else who has more courage took the win…

again.

Maybe someday I can rebuke this intrusive plague of doubt that seeps into every thought,
infecting every glimmer of certainty I come across.
Maybe someday I will stop being so scared of change and actually do something spontaneous for
once
no planning
no doubts
no retreat.
Maybe someday I can wake up 100% okay with how I turned out.
Maybe someday I can look back to all of this and say:
Today is “someday”.






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