stage 1: in love

the only way to remind                          
my lungs how much they
crave the taste of air
is by looking at you
everytime i see you      
the oxygen is cut off and
i
can’t
breathe
-you take my breath away

everyone was warned about
drugs or alcohol
but my only addiction
is you
-it’s the things you say

euphoria
is only a place
when i am with you
-tell me that story again

i never understood
how people fall in love so easily
until i met you
-silly mistake of mine

stage 2: heart-break   

I think i fell out of love
as he pulled his lips from mine
but love never leaves
i reassured him
then i guess i was never in love
grabbing his things and closing the door behind him

how you know it’s over
when i look at him
he looks at my body
i want one thing
but he wants another
-lust over love

you picked me like a flower
you plucked my petals until
i had nothing else to offer
my stem became too weak to hold my weight
you left me out to dry
i really hoped you’d forget me not
-as delicate as a flower

i wasn’t confident in my own reflection
my doubt shattered mirrors
my eyes formed tsunamis
my body image was but a photograph
in the back of my mind
-you made me hate myself


stage 3: healing

God is saving you    
for the right one
be patient
-fate is real

you must fall in love
with yourself
before you fall in love
with anyone else
-self-love

you are young
you will find love
someone who loves your hair in the morning
or when you snort when you laugh
someone will appreciate your downfalls
and in the process
you will begin to appreciate yourself
-it just takes time




i wasted so much time
looking for you
when i should have been
finding myself
-i don’t recognize myself

my light brown curls wrapped around my neck
as i shook my head while watching you pack your things
my flickering blue eyes formed silver waterfalls
why do you have to go
I cried
because you don’t feel like home anymore
as he zipped his suitcase up
- watching you leave




your lips
tasted like
artistry
that i could not paint
poetry
that i could not write
music
that i could not create
even though you called me art
-watercolor paint couldn’t even paint
all the colors in my mind




i was once asked
what was the most beautiful sound you have ever heard?
i told them
his voice telling me it was going to be okay
-constant anxiety attacks






your freckles remind me of
the stars
your face is a constellation
your body is
the universe
and i love star-gazing
-i love you to the moon and back


in your eyes
i see a reflection of myself
one i am
not afraid of
-you loving me, makes me love myself



you touched my heart
before touching my skin
my emotions
mattered more than
teenage hormones
you undressed my mind
not my body
you talked to me about
space and coffee and walks on the beach
and bonfires and warm blankets
and all the poems i aspire to write
you cared about what i was able to say
rather than what i can do
-falling in love with words instead of actions




breathe
take positivity in
push negativity out
this is one point
in your life
wipe your tears
pick yourself up
walk forward
into the future
-moving on

you may feel
like he made you whole
but you have to remember
that you were whole
before he came along
-he didn’t break you

sometimes
you have to accept
letting it go
as you pick yourself up
and carry yourself along
you have to remember that
you are stronger
than you believe you are
-no one can stand in your way




people always say
when one door closes
another one opens
but what if all the doors are
locked
and my only
key
is
you
-my life is an escape room

forever is
a seven letter word
that strikes great emotion
but yet again
so is the word absence
-you told me the first, but showed the latter


i am scared
to fall asleep
because
i always find you
in my dreams
-lurking in my nightmares

fate says
that everyone
will find someone
and that feeling in stomach
when you look in my eyes
tells me
you are my someone
-you are mine



when you
hold my hand
it feels like
you are holding
my soul
the heavy burden of fear
is lifted
and i feel loved again
-you help me love again

no one will understand
the love i have for you
like how
the ocean pushes forward
to meet the sand
even though
it is pulled away every time
-you are the sand, i am the ocean

your eyes
hold the key
to the universe
and i am
full of stars
-you open me

my mind is like
a garden
and you have
the seeds
-you help me grow

your love
has lifted me
higher than
any self-confidence
ever has before
-you give me wings

every time you

wrap

your arms around me

every broken piece
of me
becomes whole again
-fix me



you have helped
me realize
that “love” at this age
is just a waste
of time
and that i will
be better off
on my own
-lone wolf


when i see rain
it reminds me off
all the tears i've shed
but then i'm reminded
that every rain storm ends
-rainbows can only come after rain

be like a
dandelion
every time
you are cut down
come back stronger
next time
-don't let someone control you

everyone these days
are so focused on
finding someone
to love
but they forget
that you can't truly
want someone else
until you understand
what you want
-learn about yourself first

God
has a plan for you
every twist and turn
every bad and good choice
eventually you will
end up
where he wanted you to be
-everything will
be okay

even though
i miss your
laughter and
smile and
good nature
i have to remember
that i will not go anywhere
with your razor-sharp nails on my back
ripping me to pieces
-i walk alone


although i have never seen
your heart
i believe it is
cold
although i have never seen
your brain
i believe it is
stone
because every thing you
do to me either
freezes me
or
hits me with a brick
-make up your mind

even
the
clouds
are
crying
for
you
-the sky and i have a lot in common