March 17, 2009
By Kukura DIAMOND, Denver, Colorado
Kukura DIAMOND, Denver, Colorado
58 articles 0 photos 8 comments

You are the bird's eye
watching the world way up from the heavens
the sun gleaming upon your silky surface
casting your beautiful shadow on down

You are the rolling waves
stealing from some, giving to many
the harder I try to hold on to you
the faster you pull away

You are the moon
a shimmering mirror of fabricated perfection hanging in the sky
as the time to shine falls upon your shoulders
you awkwardly dance away from all

You are the young flower
hiding your beauty inside
ashamed of the life you hide
you know you are losing your time to bloom

You are the severed vein
bleeding out, never to heal
losing your eternal victory
falling short to little deaths every day

You are my world

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This article has 1 comment.

on Apr. 2 2009 at 3:50 am
ZiXiang Zhang SILVER, Ridgewood, New York
5 articles 0 photos 9 comments
hmmm..3rd stanza, second line is awkward, it disturbs the shape of your poem...

personally, i'm not a fan of structured poems (you are... you are... you are ... etc.)...

Also, you are telling to much...may I suggest using more adjectives and verbs instead of nouns?


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