Now I Truely Know

March 11, 2009
By Anonymous

i wanted to destroy everything in my path,
so i wouldnt be able to see what i have become,
but everything and everyone
has etched and embedded something into me,
they are a part of me,
whether good or bad,
before i wanted to destroy eveything in my path,
the reason why is because i didnt want to see what i use to have,
to destroy those memories
whether it be happy or sad,
i wanted to erase this person i saw
i did not want to see anything at all,
just dark deep space,
nothing at all,
i wanted to delete my past,
burn my memories,
chop down my every last bit of me,
nothing what so ever i wanted left,
i wanted to be locked into a coffin,
so my life would never come out,
hold in everything, and never shout.
never complain, never feel any sort of pain,
so i wanted to destroy everything.
lose my past,
erase my memories,
tear my self into pieces and never connect.
every tiny cell i wanted to disect,
i wanted to be this way,
i wanted everything to vanish, disappear into air,
and never see anything when i looked there.
within my soul,
i shall always hold onto life,
because now any piece would suffice,
before i wanted to let this life of mine never be,
but now that i truely see,
my experiences have made me
the person who i am today,
and thats how i will stay
until i once again learn something from life.

The author's comments:
I had so many things written down on paper about my life, such as poems, and then one day i just wanted to throw everything away and not remember how i felt then. But now i wish i could go back and look over my feelings i used to have but it is to late and i cant because everything is ripped up and long gone in the trash, i wish i could redo what i did but its my fault and i learned a lesson.

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