My Eldest Brother And Me

March 5, 2009
There is a reason I hate my eldest brother,
And it's a reason I'm ashamed to admit is true.
He is me and I am him.
Ever since I can remember I looked up to him.
Everything he did was something I wanted to do.
Without realizing it, I turned out exactly like him.
I've always had a problem with how he treated out parents,
I never approved of his need to constantly need a relationship,
His attitude always pissed me off,
But I've done the same things.
Though I have more respect for my parents,
I've hurt them.
Even though I think the constant relationship leads nowhere
I'm doing it.
Our attitudes toward each other,
Are the same.
My mother made a point that it's not the person we hate,
But the similar actions we take.
It's true.
I hate being compared to him,
Though it's true in so many ways,
I hate it!
I struggle to stand out in front of my parents,
But because I'm like my brother,
I don't.
They expect the same,
And I've made the mistake of giving them the reasons.
I'll admit that some things I've done I don't regret,
But the ones I do,
Leave scars that hide in my soul.
The scars that leave an impression of my relation to him,
This is why I hate him.

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Ashley S. said...
Mar. 16, 2009 at 3:39 pm
I too have an older brother that I've looked up to, but my mother has begged me not to be like him. I get what you've written and its true for me in almost every way.
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