i am a survivor and a grown woman. i am confident and inconfident. i am terrified and ecstatic. i am loving, caring and extremely hopeful. i'm careful and careless. i am misunderstood and misguided and doubted. i am determined and self-motivated but frightened on the inside. i dream for perfection, acceptance and achievement. i pray to be heard and cry myeslf to sleep. i smile on the outside while my insides are crumbling down. i listen and care for others who don't care for me. i put others before myself and get left behind. i believe in passion, faith and overcoming obstacles. i push my loved ones away, i want them close just not too close. i am broken and i am whole. i am nothing and everything at the exact same time.