February 3, 2009
On the night I thought my world would end,
I was spared,
But, I was left with a terrible scar,
My joy was ripped from me and depression filled my space,
I didn't understand why it had to be me,
Why I was put in this situation,
Why I had to face his cruelty.

I wake up every night,
Crying and scared,
Like the child who thinks there's a monster still hidden,
In their closet,
Monster conjures up my dreams,
Turns my laughs,
To cries,
And my cries,
To screams.

I hide,
Trying to keep this little girl secret,
In the back of my mind,
But somehow they keep moving forward,
And bringing me down, I
I feel lower than dirt.

Worthless and trashy,
Please God,
Oh, please God help me,
It's not my fault,
I know it's not.

But why does it taunt me,
Like an annoying siren,
I don't know what to do,
I feel like I'm trapped,
Between a rock and a hard place.

I go to counseling,
And get all the help I can,
But knowing,
That I can't,
I still survived.

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