Originality is a Pastime of Mine, Kind of Like Baseball

January 17, 2009
By Kristen Ferguson, Bronx, NY

I’m a really good listener

Too good for my own good, actually

I have never had a decent conversation in my entire life
And by decent I mean a continuous even flow of back and forth banter

It doesn’t have to be the most intellectual topics discussed
I just want something that doesn’t collect dust

I think its because I'm too afraid to expose my thoughts
Because they are pretty out there
But sometimes its something worse than that
Sometimes I genuinely have nothing to say in response
Its not that im not listening
Because I am
I could regurgitate what was just said verbatim
in most cases

I don’t know why it happens
I try so hard to create a thought pertaining to what was just said
But it won’t come out!

Maybe there’s something wrong with me
Maybe my mind is in a different place
Who knows

I just need to find someone that makes me think
And will actually accept my ideas
They don’t have to agree with them
Hell, they don’t even have to like them
They just have to hear them
And respond
Because clearly that is my downfall

I want someone that can make me think and talk
Talk about anything in the world
I don’t even have to be happy about it
I just want it to be real

I don’t think I’ve ever had that

So I guess I’ve just been listening for that realness
And my resulting words are a reflection of the knowledge
Of the people that actually can articulate themselves on a dime

Maybe I just like having an original thought
No sense repeating what’s already been said
Because it’s already been heard

So I’ll keep listening
And I know one day
I’m going to hear those words
That take my mind and my tongue
In one swift motion

And trust me,
You’ll want to listen in

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