Fine | Teen Ink

Fine

January 12, 2009
By Anonymous

I see you every day
See you walk onto the bus
Sit in the back seat
Only three seats behind mine

I see you in the halls
In class
I bump into you in the crowded hallway
But you never
Ever
See me

I see you
I see you laugh with your friends
Act like you’re so cool
But I know the truth
I know that you are afraid
To face the fact
That you still love me

It’s not my fault
I became uncomfortable
I didn’t like what we were doing
The secrets we were keeping
From friends
From family
From everybody

The answer is yes
I still love you
But how can I love you now
Even if I do
And I know I do
Your ability to act like it never happened
Hurts

It hurts like hurricanes hurt countries
The devastation left behind
Is never forgotten
Never mind when everything gets picked up

I walk along the hallway
You pass me on your way to French
I pass you on my way out
Nothing
I pass you
You pass me

I look back
Hoping
Dreaming even
But you just sit down
In your chair
And look straight ahead

I can tell you’re avoiding me
I can tell
You want to look at me
Hell who wouldn’t?
I know you still love me
And I know you hate me
And
I know
That you are having a lot of trouble
Keeping the two in balance

I can also tell
That love is winning
And it breaks my heart
Because we both know
That no matter how much we love each other
It will never happen again

It was a onetime deal
A year of greatness
You can say we were young
You can say we were foolish
But you and I both know
That we knew exactly what we were doing

You ignore me
You never look at me
You flirt with other girls in my presence
And I know
That it’s on purpose
But I
Am better at it then you know

I still love you
And no matter what
That will never change
But unlike you
I can move on
I can accept the fact
That we can’t be together
And I can live
Live with all I have

I just wanted you know
That when I pass you in the hall
I don’t see a cool, hot guy
Who doesn’t give a ***
I see a guy
Who’s hurt
And damaged

I got passed that
And because I love you
I want you to too


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