And here I sit in my room alone. A whirlwind is surging in my mind out of control. There’s a constant buzzing and I just want it all to be quiet.
I sit here thinking why do I hurt. Why do I walk into walls of emotion around every turn I make. I look to my right and I see it… the memory box she made me and I feel it the ultimate pain…and it slides down my face and dampens my t-shirt.
I wonder why all the bad memories come back so much faster… the times of doubt and uncertainity…all I wanted was to be loved. But then again maybe that’s too much to ask for because… who even really knows what love is?
Four little letters to show the one emotion that everyone craves. So maybe I am just weak… weaker than all those who have the same problems but stand tall. As I sit here holding my head up…So strong yet barely strong enough to hold myself up. I just wish that those memories that make your spine tingle, the ones that raise goose bumps..why can’t they come back to me..
And it dawns on me like the sun coming over the horizon, Love is bigger than me. Love is bigger than just sitting holding myself together. Love is about sacrificing myself for someone else. And I look up and realize that the tears had stopped and that maybe just maybe I will find someone to share this love story with.