Hello!

I am so very glad to meet you!

My name?

Oh... it doesn't matter!

Call me Billy or Marcia or Chase or Stef

Ann or Tim or Liz or Ruth

Call me whatever pleases you

Because once I've told you my name

(Beth Terry Margaret Lisa John)

You've already forgotten it anyway!

This I know!

So why bother?!

Well.

If you insist.

My name is Lamp.

Like the object.

Yep!

That's me.

Because though I say so

You will look at me like I am one anyway!

Like I am a Lamp.

About as sexually appealing as a peanut butter sandwich!

Unless you are a fellow

Who gets his kicks with peanut butter

And the neighbour's dog!

(Oh, yes, I have heard of you!)

I am as interesting as a glass of water!

As nifty as a saltine!

As pretty as a tube of toothpaste!

You know the song

That Nat King Cole

Sang with his daughter?

That song is about the Anti-Me

(Or should I say Anti-Lamp?)

Because I am so easy to forget!

I would tell you that I am a

Wallflower

BUT!

Flower denotes prettiness

And other good things

That people do not forget!

Therefore, if I said I was a Wallflower

That would be A LIE!

So

I am A Lamp

Your eyes will slide over me like air

(Like A Lamp!)

This I know

So go ahead!

Forget me!

I am only A Lamp

After all!

But remember, friends

That Lamps bring brightness and enlightenment

And have done so

From the beginning of

Time.