Reality Check | Teen Ink

Reality Check

November 29, 2008
By Anonymous

What if I wanted to break away from society?
A culture
Where war replaces peace
Where money replaces love
Where emotions run dry
Where coping with it doesn't apply
Is this the kind of community we want to live in?
Would you stop me from leaving?-- Can you blame me for cheating?
Cheating
My way out
Of life.
Out of School. Out of Love. Out of Pain.
Out of this
Repulsive palce
I live in
Where being a terrorist is as easy as
Having brown skin
Is this what we want to live in?
A corrupt place where rules are
Pushed aside
Where solving problems are resolved
With homocide..
So
Don't blame me for breaking away
Where there is a place hatred won't go anyway
Where
Love has meaning and is not
Replaced
By something green
Where peace reins
Over war
Where emotions rise
Above more than just words that are said
Now put these ideas inside your head
Tell me what you think now
Because if you don't think differently somehow
Then there is no hope for the future and the now!



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This article has 141 comments.


on Aug. 10 2009 at 2:39 pm
AJ Krzysko BRONZE, Tower Lakes, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 8 comments
nice poem the style is done well

on Aug. 10 2009 at 5:23 am
delizabethl PLATINUM, Linesville, Pennsylvania
33 articles 0 photos 33 comments
You put my very thoughts into written word, onto printed page.

on May. 4 2009 at 12:31 pm
crich897 BRONZE, Barberton, Ohio
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wow. "Make it positive! Put happy, smiling daisies and daffodils at the end! It's so sad and pessimistic! We need clouds and butterflies!"

Give me a break. This poem focuses on bare realities. I, for one, applaud it for that.

I'm not saying that everything sucks or everything is bad. There is a lot of greed and corruption in the world though. I like the line "where love has meaning and is not replaced by something green" alot. It's interesting.

Poets focus on the truth. I think it's alot like the poet Mary Biddinger says: "Poetry is a laser. Fiction is a rib-spreader. Both of them are indispensable, but only poetry can do the most delicate surgery, penetrating with minimal damage. I do think that poetry can create change in the world, and I believe that it is essential to the world." Keep in mind that she was talking about both her poetry and fiction writing, but I think the point is very clear.

Poetry is supposed to get in there. In there where it's hard to reach. Places that are hidden or small. It gets in there and starts to slowly and delicately change things. Fix them. I believe that that is precisely what the author here is attempting to do.

A poem will not fix things. But hundreds can. Not the poems themselves, but the people behind them. The authors get their ideas out there. Poets will share their truth whether we like it or not. Readers will begin to hear the truth.

It's ridiculous. Read the poem for what it truly is: an outcry for change. A pondering on what the world really is. A reality check.

on Apr. 26 2009 at 5:39 pm
Torsten Odland SILVER, Warrington, Pennsylvania
8 articles 0 photos 4 comments
The line breaks are too hip for me, when i read it it sounded like something that someone would read in a coffee shop accompanied by bongo's. People like it, and I do like the themes, I guess it's just not quite my style. My only critique is, when trying to make a political statement there's a fine line between honesty and douchebaggy. To me this just doesn't quite read like the frustrated ramblings of the oppressed.

on Mar. 30 2009 at 8:24 pm
ultrabookworm BRONZE, Equestria, Kentucky
2 articles 0 photos 65 comments
This poem is impressively well thought out. It sheds a lot of light on some of the corruption of the world we live in, and it gives us something to think about. Thank you for writing this poem- it's definitely my favorite!

on Feb. 23 2009 at 8:51 pm
Stormy16 SILVER, Tolleson, Arizona
7 articles 61 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
-Victor Hugo

A lot of people complain about how dark you make the world seem... But when writing this poem theses are the things you wanted to focuse on. And if they have a problem with that then they should just write a poem about the sun shining and just talk of how happy the world is and all the people in it! it's not their freak'n poem and I gotta say you are very! talented and don't let them say that you see the world wrong its different from everyones eyes..... :)

on Jan. 28 2009 at 2:36 am
i love it! it's so real, not only could this poem be about politics or the economy or the world around us, it could be about the world inside us and, well, it just makes sense.

ZOE#1 said...
on Jan. 26 2009 at 10:23 pm
I loved this poem i feel are world is crashing. Sometimes i feel like its a crash and burn situation. WAR is not fun and WHY cant other people think and be different. Think of the inisent children who will now grow up in a world of war thank you for saying what needed to be said HOPE YOU GET PUBLISHED. Love eachother and break the gun. If we in this generation can't do it who will. GO OBAMA!!!

leighalanie said...
on Jan. 25 2009 at 10:18 pm
i love your way of putting things i am inspired ....im 14 and love writing poetry i write alot of thing about the world ....and everything else b/c people need to knows whats going on.





we are in a war and i feel im the only one who knows it

on Jan. 22 2009 at 1:14 am
That was a very heart felt poem. Great Job!

mace2 said...
on Jan. 21 2009 at 5:00 am
Read the poem I AM by MACY K.

kmpoetgirl7 said...
on Jan. 21 2009 at 2:56 am
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It captures the struggles of the world in ways that people don't think about. It was so true. Great job! Keep writing!

Joy26 said...
on Jan. 21 2009 at 2:42 am
Wow!!

What jumps out at me most is not how good the poem is (though I acknowledge it's great), but how much controversy it has sparked. Truly, I think that says just as much as the words in the poem; the ability to knock on our doors, the doors of teenage philosophers, and to have us actually reply is no mean feat.



Thus: my congratulations.



However I am not all that impressed with the poem; I think there are many others on this site that could also be voted number one. So here is my challenge to all you teenaged poetry lovers out there: search out the best poem. Find one truly worthy of your vote of five stars.



Thank you so much, and thank you, Victoria, for your wonderful poem and even more fantastic fan base and even your harshest critics. Keep it up, everyone!! Don't forget the point of this website: a link between all of us who want to express ourselves, and a place where we can have our peers listen to what we have to say. Go to the least popular of these poems; go the the last page where the newest poems are. Give these fledgling poets a waft of pure air, a lift, an encouraging smile, to permit them to keep on soaring.

My apologies, and my sincerest thanks.

~Joy

on Jan. 20 2009 at 7:03 pm
I really liked this poem. It's understandable in ways that normal people would find utterly impossible!

someone else said...
on Jan. 19 2009 at 9:41 pm
i like this so much that I dont even know what to say.

that was INSANELY good

Stormy15 said...
on Jan. 19 2009 at 5:00 pm
I do in fact see the things that u see and i feel as though it's eating me alive, so me being just like every buddy i try to ignore it because it pains me so i try to see the beauty in the world and not just the ugly but your poem does persent a problem to me that we teens need to fix this cause were this generations adults I would like to fix these problems but how would I dop so?

LILAZZZzzz said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 8:37 am
i LOVE this poem. i wish i could write something as deep as that :)

but try to put something positive at the end like a solution or hope in a better world :)



seems you've built up quite an audience :)



keep going :)



LILAZZZzzz

mazinsky said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 3:02 am
kudos dude

on Jan. 16 2009 at 3:04 pm
Hmmm, I find this a bit cliched Nether less, a good bash at trying to wrap every world issue into a poem. Just slightly ambitious.

L@n@e said...
on Jan. 14 2009 at 10:23 pm
Great job! I think this poem really opens the reader's eyes to all that is wrong with the world. Way to get ur point across!