Looking Right | Teen Ink

Looking Right

March 14, 2014
By JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction is the lie that tells the truth."

You seem out-of-it,
different, and sad.
Because I let you down
and made you mad.
You said that high school love
was no big deal
and all small wounds
would easily heal.
You said that we were done
and you were through.
But all simple thoughts
can be misconstrued
You left me heart-broken
on that narrow bench.
I found that dead heart
has an awful stench.
I watched you get up
and leave me there
as you left me
emotionally bare.
My eyes tracked you
as you crossed the quad.
You were perfect for me;
a beautiful gift from God.
So, I couldn’t let you
just go to waste
I got up and tracked you
through the crowded space.
As I crossed the sea of teens
and looked for you, my shore,
I remember all the great things
that we have done before.
Chasing you down
being pushed and shoved’
longing for one thing,
the feeling of being loved.
I reached you
and caught you by surprise
and I looked into your iris
and saw baby-blue skies.
I proposed an idea
and asked for a second chance.
Now we’re together again,
a relationship advanced.
But that last line was a lie,
and I was terribly mistaken
because one night,
my life was deeply shaken.
It was a Friday night
and I was driving you home
from the night we had to ourselves
were we could just roam.
I remember the price of the food.
9 dollars, 7 pennies, and a dime.
But I never got to say, “I love you.”
for the very last time.
You loved me in the seat to my right.
Your affection didn’t want to hide.
But, I swear, I didn’t see the truck,
coming from the passenger side.

The author's comments:
This is a poem writen from a teenage boy in a story. My story. Look out for "Looking Right: the story behind the poem"

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This article has 3 comments.

on Apr. 21 2014 at 10:39 am
JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction is the lie that tells the truth."

The story is finally up on Teen Ink. The name is Looking Right: the Story Behind the Poem.

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Apr. 3 2014 at 4:47 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

This is beautiful; the rhyme scheme is unique, as well as the structure. Definitely captivating! I would have never guessed the last line. Can't wait to read the story behind the poem, it looks really intriguing. Keep writing, you have so much talent :)

HudaZav SILVER said...
on Apr. 2 2014 at 10:27 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 392 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

Oh my God that ending hit me so hard. That was truly amazing and well written.

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