just a chair

October 14, 2008
I close my eyes, relax my soul, I try so hard, to just let go
Mind and soul, torn apart.
Two different ways, one light one dark.
Walking away as fast as I can, beginning to run as I see A hand.
The hand so dark, and filled with death, my heart so weak, so out of breath.
Must not give in, must not let go.
This world is a box, my life is the show.
Just turn it off, just turn it around, now falling towards the ground.
Dark allies, with twits and turns, dreadful thoughts of dirt and worms.
don¡¯t give up. don¡¯t give in.
don¡¯t give depression the right to win.
Once was a tree and now a chair,
Once was free, now wouldn¡¯t dare.
Changed by people, changed by pain, changed by the ones who pushed till insane.
Not knowing. will it go away?
They thought the Bruises had faded, such a long time ago
Another fact, they never tried to know. For the bruises will never go.
Drowning and drowning again and again, searching and searching
For One real love ,One real friend
Drenched in tears, drowning in fears lost and confused, yet somehow amused.
Playing life, as if a game. Every one met, always the same.
Deep inside, they feel no shame. Stay for awhile, tell me you care, do as you do,
Just sit on the chair.
Il hold the weight, I always do. Il care I¡¯ll love, no need to move.
Then when I feel, I deserve to rest, you leave me to fall, like an egg from its nest.
Broken and shattered all over the ground, you see what you¡¯ve done, then turn around.
The hand is death reaching out.
One touch, its over no turning around.
So tired of running, so tired of pain, so tired of living this twisted game.
Tired of betrayal so evil and sick
Eating my insides like termites on a stick.
In a way there¡¯s a bit of hope, hard to believe but its something I know.
So when the hand comes reaching out, I run to the light, I try to get out.
For when the hand gets too near, I begin to lose fear.
I play with death like I play with love, it can be as black as coal or as white as a dove
I try to stay back, try to keep cool.
Take the world off my shoulders, stop being a fool.
To hard to face alone, searching for one, who¡¯s not like the rest
One who wont let the egg fall from its nest.
Surely one more fall will be the last, no longer can I run as fast.
If only this chair was once more a tree, letting the sun shine on my leaves.
If only someone can find my bark, what once was my shield against the dark.
I know there¡¯s hope, I know there¡¯s faith, I know my heart can change its shape.
Just god, help me please, give me strength, give me light, I¡¯ll fight the hand, I¡¯ll fight the night.
Im much to weak, to go alone, send me an angel, send me a saint
One with a heart that wont let go, one with a mind that always knows.
Send me this someone, who can make it all right,
This someone who can love me who can change my sight
Someone who will give me the strength to fight.
God please, just send¡®em my way, and death will finally leave me, till my rightful day.

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