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Breaking Bonds
October 5, 2008
Struggling to move
Trying to break the bonds
The more that I struggle
The tighter they hold on
The ties that made me feel safe
That made me feel at home
Are the ties I want to break
I want them to leave me alone
I try to force my way though
Manipulating my way out
But the bonds just tighten
And I’m left with doubt
Will I ever find a way
A way to break free
Or will the bonds tighten
And never release me
I give up and let the ties have their way
And only then do I notice
The bonds loosening a bit each day
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 4 comments.
Cierra H. said...
on Oct. 27 2008 at 8:45 pm
Thank you. I agree that it could be better as well, like not using the word bonds and ties everytime but other words as well.
Jocelia P. said...
on Oct. 22 2008 at 12:43 pm
I agree with *peachy_keen*. It sounds very real. I think it could also be a little more better, but its still very good. People can understand it. Everyone feels that way sometimes. Very good.
Cierra H. said...
on Oct. 9 2008 at 1:21 am
Thanks so much for the feedback! It's got my brain working that's for sure!
*peachy_keen* said...
on Oct. 8 2008 at 12:28 am
I like this. I think it sounds REAL. It's a great start but I'm sure you could make it better. Originals are always great to keep and usualy have more meaning to the author personally, I understand, but adding higher level vocab can definitely enhance a poem's effects. Also, I have a feeling you could dig deeper and bring out more emotion with it.
