I See You

September 9, 2008
By Markita Underwood, Pelham, AL

I see you—
From the corner of my eye,
As you walk by,
Thinking about whether
What I want is what I really need.
Or is it just greed?
Selfish desires,
Rather than what is required
Of me?
But…a look…
Scared to stare you straight in the face,
Step out of the place
That I believe that I should stay in.
Don’t give in—
But then…a smile…
Reassures me that you know.
Emotions, go,
Fueled by even more desire.
I feel fire
In my chest,
The stressed
Vibrations behind my rib cage.
A rage
Of a softer kind
Starts to blind
My senses,
And convinces
Me to think otherwise.
An internal sigh,
As I think of the impossible goodbye
That would come next.
Interrupted…a touch…
A sudden rush
Down my spine.
My mind
Is distracted.
My intentions subtracted
Once more…
One second, two seconds,
Three seconds, four.
A split moment to think about what I wish for.
To be more
Than that six-letter word
That’s scribbled and blurred
Somewhere between acquaintance and family.
Hold me,
Tell me,
Reassure me,
That what I feel isn’t vain.
That pain
Isn’t the ending to this story.
That my worst worry
Doesn’t become my harsh reality.
I lay my head on your chest.
My quest
Is over and done.
I’d won
My prize…
I close my eyes—
Only to open them and find
That you are not there.
You were never here.
It was mere illusion.
The conclusion
That the fantasy is now over.
Four seconds, three seconds,
Two seconds, one,
What I thought had suddenly ended had never begun.
I’m unsure,
Be my cure.
Save me from disaster,
Rescue me from this ongoing rapture,
With a little bit of closure…
Come closer...
More over—
Deliver me from internal torture…

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