How I Still Feel About You


This picture when we were young
You, by my side.
The way I just looked at your eyes
Made me feel like I was with you
I can’t believe that we still go to the same school together
It feels like I known you for a very long time.
But when I look at this photo
I feel disappointed too
You sat in front of me in math class.
I would always get lost
Because I can never stop staring at you.

Every time when class was over
I tap your broad shoulder
You turn around with a smile
But here comes my best friend
I smile back,
“Never mind” I said.
I walk away
Minding my own business
My head went crazy
Just thinking
You and my best friend is wrong
I had to do something
I thought of writing you a love note
I went home thinking of
How my feelings for you
My mind keeps thinking I had enough
But my heart keeps telling me don't give up

I wrote the letter with my heart
I was really excited
When school started
I was really happy
That I was gonna confess to you
But then what I see
In your hands was a
Love letter,
But in my hands is mine.

"Eww...is it Sudy?"
Those words that
Came out of your mouth
Made my heart
Move somewhere else
It didn't know where to go
But it hurt
Tears running down my face
Randomly, you look at me
I turn around
I think you saw the letter in my hand
I ran
Faster and faster
I can see myself
Running to the path of stupid
I should have think before I went.

When I ran out of school
A teacher chased after me
I had a talk with her
It was the first time
I lied to a teacher
That I was okay.

I went to class
I see you
But I don't look at you
I sat down not noticing you
My phone vibrates against my stomach
I reach for my phone
I read the text
"Are you okay?"
I tap your shoulder
"I'm fine, don't worry,"
I lied.
Just thinking about you
Always make me tear up
But every time I talk to you
I fake a smile in silence.

Now those years went by
Through high school
I never forgot you
I really miss you.
In school,
You look at me
But never smile
And I noticed something was wrong
Like you regretting our memories of friendship
I fake the smile pretending my life was better than before
But it seems you’re doing it better than me.
This photo was the last time I saw you smile
Like this was when we were in middle school,
7th grade
The words you have only spoken to me was “Thanks”
When I let you cut in line in front of me.