Burning Truths

August 21, 2008
You’re a liar
A cheater
A wanna be player
You turn heads
Break hearts
But in your mind nothing haunts
No guilty conscience
No hearts desire
Nothing but lust
Sets your soul on fire

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EdytD said...
Sept. 2, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I think you've got a great idea here, but it needs more imagery - show that people lust after him, rather than tell the reader. Describe the look in the girls' (or guys', if your main character is a girl) eyes as they stare in desire. Give images that the reader can actually picture, so that they can almost see the poem play out in their mind.
I think if you play with this, it could be a really fantastic poem. Good job!
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