Angels and Kemo

August 19, 2008
By Justin Conner, Hendersonville, TN

If an angel has once eyed her figure of beauty
Then, surely for me, they are greatly consoled
For, in trying to clasp her in Heaven's bright valley
My will has become, but senescent and old
Yes, my heart, overrun my pubescence and mold

Won't you save me fair angels (if any fly through
Through the depths of my thinking, my heart and my trust)
Point my words to a route that will guide me straight to
To the peace of her luminous eyes- For you must!
To the skies of those dimonded eyes- Oh you must!
For I heed every warning;
I banish my lust!
Link my soul to her soul- to my beauty's- You must!

By a ghoul no sweeter than love I am haunted
In a restless dim valley, I have once called my soul
In an old sober palace, once brightly enchanted
Once filled to the sky with our hopes and our goals
Once contained by the skies of our ever-linked souls

For, a throne wasn't reared by the icy clear rain
Nor did skies become gray, by the demonded clouds
Not a notch below perfect to cause any pain
Was this valley, enchanted kept far from the crowds
Was this Heavenly grassland held far from the crowds

Though in sadness, much sadness, the end, lacking joy
Will be told by this pencil, this heart, and this boy

For the wind, it became a tornado of grief
And the water arose with the drop of a leaf
It arose with a hatred and towered to fall
All upon every lover, killed you and me, all

Then, ah, we departed, you're love was at rest
But mine clearly restarted and hoped for the best
Though, my calls were too late, and you soul wanders lonely
Yes, this is the tale of my one love and only

So angel who hovers up by the rays of the sun
Let me ask you once more, if I pray, will you answer?
That sun shines on many, though, I need but one
For this girl, without doubt is the kemo to cancer

The author's comments:
I often wonder why. Why do we like the people we like and why do we love the people we love? I've really never been a 'go with the flow' kind of guy, I've always wanted answers. Perhaps this has to do with me being a teenager; you know, all that pubescence and what not, but still I wonder. There has been one question I've very frequently been attempting to find the answer to; a question that has raddled the deepest regions of my mind and shaken this cage called sanity. Why do I still love her? Why, after so many years, after so many oppurtunities to just let go, I can not? It's these damn emotions! These wretched emotions, won't burn into embers and become ashes! For, they burn and become ghosts! Phantomes and ghouls that haunt my head like a graveyard! But why? What is the reasoning for this? Is my brain telling me that I can not live without her? Why has this cage called sanity broken? This, the cage where I keep the darkest thoughts locked away, so that, not even I am aware of my thinking of them. I find it funny and terrifying at the same time, to tell you the truth. Am I doomed to be alone because I can't accept the fact tat she doesn't love me anymore? What if she gets married? Then what? Will it matter, or will I still try with all my soul to win her back? I've never been able to look at one of my girlfriends and not wanted to get quite intimate with them, except her... And why, I ask! Why is this! Do I respect her too much, or am I in love? Does that even matter? If I am in love could I even win her heart; could she love me as I love her? I heavily doubt this. I look at her pictures and for some reason let loose a small chuckle; maybe even more miniscule than this, more like an ear to ear grin. And why is this! Do you understand? I don't! This is not a prosaic act of joy for me, I know. But that might be the only thing I know.

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