Here, Take This Paper

January 8, 2013
By Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt


My mother told me as a child
If I have nothing nice to say
I was to nicely shut my mouth
And go outside and play
So I’m taking her advice
Much to my dismay
But it’s not that big a problem
Since I can show you just the same
So here, take this paper
White with thin blue line
Crumple it and crease it
Tell it awful lies
Now, I want you to unfold it
Lye it flat out on the desk
Smooth it out, unwrinkled it
Make it look its best
Tell it that you’re sorry
For making it so worn
Tell it that you’re sorry
If it may have torn
This piece of paper’s me
All crumpled creased and ripped
But no matter how you try
Those marks are permanent


The author's comments:
I wrote this because kids in my middle school just don't understand that words hurt. when you purposely put somebody else down simply because they feel superior, the marks you make on their self-esteem never disappear. I hope you like it!

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This article has 14 comments.


Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Apr. 17 2013 at 10:26 pm
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt

Thanks! I'm glad people can relate to this!

Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 17 2013 at 3:07 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Uh, yeah, I so love this. I can relate to this. My mom tells me this all the time. Words are powerful. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 17 2013 at 3:06 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Hell yeah, I love this. My mom tells me the same thing sometimes. I relate to this as well.

on Apr. 2 2013 at 5:25 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 861 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

I love this!! The metaphor is SO accurate; it baffles me how you could've thought of this. I loveeeee your rhyming as well; you use great words in the scheme!! There's really nothing to critique, except maybe not revealing the truth behind your metaphor at the end. Instead, you could give hints that make it absolutely obvious that you're the paper. For example, you could say "my eyes matched the cerulean bars across the paper" or something to that extent in order to convey it as you. Great, great job!!!

on Feb. 25 2013 at 4:14 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

The comparison here is great! You told your message so well! Good job!

on Feb. 11 2013 at 7:24 pm
TheHerbArtist SILVER, Paradise, California
6 articles 0 photos 25 comments
I really liked your message. Nice metaphor with the paper thing (:

flanny SILVER said...
on Jan. 21 2013 at 3:22 pm
flanny SILVER, Madison, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I found this poem very moving and true...people do tend to say things without thinking of the effect it has.

on Jan. 20 2013 at 8:58 pm
Rolledthestone SILVER, Nowhere, Other
8 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7:5) and "All the poeple who supported slavery were free, all the people who support abortion live..."

Couldn't find your game point poem on your articles page so I decided to comment on this one. I think it started out good like a ballard or something rhyming abcb but then you switched to free verse and the flow was off. I liked the topic though so working on the rhythm is the main thing, still, an awesome poem.

Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Jan. 14 2013 at 4:10 pm
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt

Yeah, I agee with you. It really isnt my best work but thanks for the feedback.

nmk1128 SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 10:37 pm
nmk1128 SILVER, Fort Myers, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The first part was a little rough, and you seemed to forcibly cut a line that would be better suited as one long line into two or three shorter lines - this kinda ruins the flow. However, your paper anolgy is very interesting and a great device for others to connect with the problems you are facing, although its a nice visual it kind of sounds like an excersice you'd do in guidence class, you know? I'm not sure why I added that, but there you go

Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 6:54 pm
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt

thanks!   

3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 2:12 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

This is really good! It's also incredibly true!! Highschool is the same way for me. I dont know why people tear you down with words and then expect that youre still gonna be friends. It's just wrong. But I loved this poem!

Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 11:17 am
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt

Thank you!

on Jan. 12 2013 at 8:23 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

That was an amazing message and amazingly written. 5 stars easy :)


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