It Wasn't

August 10, 2008
It wasn’t the fear in my heart, but the passion in my eyes,
It wasn’t the honest truth, but the sincerity behind my lies,
It isn’t the misery within my soul, but the false bliss you perceive,
It’s the nightmares that leave me trembling, not carefree dreams,

It isn’t joy that makes me cry, but instead the thoughts in my mind,
It isn’t that I’m looking in all the wrong places, I just don’t want to find,
It isn’t the excitement that makes me run, just the thought of getting away,
It isn’t that there’s nothing to be said, I just don’t want to say,

It isn’t that I can’t hear you; I just choose not to listen,
It isn’t that I’m laughing next to you, but screaming in the distance,
It wasn’t that I held your hand with fervor, but instead insecurity,
It was with hesitation that I stumbled to answer you, not certainty,

It wasn’t that I was hiding from who I am, just being on guard,
It wasn’t that I was truly caring that I always fell so hard,
It wasn’t that I was fearful, I just didn’t dare,
It was that you claim to find something within me that isn’t there.

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